its me once more
hey hey..i know im suppose to be blogging about PLD... ihave been doing it dont worry...i skipped chapter21 but ill go back to it soon..where are we suppose to be at..ithink chapter22 is just so super powerful..
i decided to just blog about how things have been for me recently...yeah i have been thinking alot about the very nature of fellowship..i mean it has been a reoccuring theme everywhere i go..i dont know but i just feel so sad whenever i look at our church youth and young adults..what support is there in the first place??? i mean to be honest..if it werent for you keeping contact with me in the past year..i would have really felt that GBC is none other than a superficial and "acting nice" church. to be honest, when i think back about my farewell and how there were so many people that i cant all recall who were praying for me...it issad to note that i only talk to you after all..i mean barn and tiu as well but you know..i tell you my stuff regularly and stuff like that..which is why i am really just super grateful for you...really..i appreciate how youve been there all this while just really watching for me all this time when i was in australia...i dont know how things would be if yu hadnt...i mean im not saying that i require so much attention but then its sad to think that whenever one from our church leaves overseas for whatever reason...more often than not...they are fast forgotten and no one really supports them in the way they need it most-prayer. i tink about it and im just sad.
ive been talking to God about this quite a bit..i really find no support in our church..and theres just really a small and almost non existent support group that is very encouraged in a church ( like that written in the PDL) ..im not surprised that my next trip back would be really strange...i just dont feel great...i really wish to change church so badly...i mean i know that in some ways its called running away but in more ways than one, i somehow feel that if its so important to have a chrsitian fellow ship i dont know why i aint putting myself in one...haiyarh..yarh..in any case, the thought of leaving mayseem the best but at the same time its equally hard to leave your comfort zone and never return...you know what i mean? yeah...sigh.
im still praying. my mom says im silly because after all im going back...but somehow i feel..going back means that i would really need more than that...aiyarh..i also dont know if what im saying is really the best way to think...yeah.
well, im thankful that i have maryann and vicky as well..because they are the ones that i can really share my walk with and everything..yeah..so oh wells..without them i also dont know how man...i know for one that when i do return im going to be finding a cell group in which i can join and grow hopefully...
anyways, hope that you are doing fine yarh..tell me more about your shanghai trip when you can...take care!!
Back once again...
Back once again at work...Though I think I'm falling sick....From all the late nights and early mornings in Shanghai...Need more sleep tonight...
Will think about blogging about Shanghai on my blog tomorrow....
hey hey
harloes dear!!! howse shanghai??? this is just a short hello and that i hope youre really having a good time there yarh.get your break and catch up on God and with yourself okok!!!!
really miss you already...
love you!!
hugs!
Must think I'm mad...
You must think I'm mad...Well I realized I didn't blog from Day 8 all the way to Day 16...So had to do them quickly in one go...
I'm really tired and exhausted from everything...I think I cannot juggle everything that I have...I can't and I'm stretching myself too thin...I can't give up any much more time to do anything else..If I do, please SLAP me! Cos I don't want to give Jane and Fedora the crumbs of my time with BS, and I want to be able to catch up with you PROPERLY every time...My parents are getting older as well and I need to spend time with them....
But I want to do well in school and at work as well..And it is killing me to do everything....
I can't catch up with anyone else anymore apart from these people...No wonder I don't have a guy in my life...He wouldn't be able to fit in and I would be giving him the crumbs of my time....Or killing myself even more....No wonder I fell sick in the 1st half of the year when I hung out a lot with Ian...
I'm so glad that I'm on leave tomorrow and that I'm able to just chill out with my friends....And spend some time with them...Cos they are all going away....I still have one more hour at work..And it's making me nervous cos I got a lot of my work to clear on my desk...So I'm going to gambatte now! :)
So am I catching up with you on Saturday late night or Sunday early morning? Let me know?
We going to church together as usual right?
Day 16 - What Matters Most
- Point to Ponder: Life is all about love.
- Need to love others as you love yourself.
- Show special love for God's people.
- God wants his family to be known for its love more than anything else.
- Your strong love for each other will prove to the world that you are my disciples.
- Love cannot be learned in isolation.
- The best use of life is love.
1) Life without love is really worthless - No matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I'm bankrupt without love.
- After learning to love God (worship), learning to love others is the second purpose of your life.
2) Love will last forever - Love leaves a legacy.
3) We will be evaluated on our love. - I want to make sure that I spend time loving you and other people - because that's what life is all about.
- The best expression of love is time - cannot get back time and hard to give focussed attention.
- The best time to love is NOW!
- Verse to remember: "The entire law is summed up in a single command: 'Love your neighbour as yourself." - Galatians 5:14
- Question to consider: Honest, are relationships my first priority? How can I ensure that they are?
- Answer: Only some are - Jiamin, family, Jane and Fedora.
- Need to not feel that I'm squeezing out time for people. Need to learn to put relationships in first place instead of work and studies. Though it is hard to juggle everything. Must learn to say No!
Day 15 - Formed For God's Family
- Purpose #1 : I was created for God's pleasure.
- Purpose #2: I was formed for God's family.
- My spiritual family is more important that my physical family because it will last forever.
- God has reserved priceless inheritance for his children. And it is priceless, pure and undefiled.
- Whenever I feel unimportant, unloved or insecure, remember to whom I belong.
- Point to Ponder: I was formed for God's family.
- Verse to Remember: "His unchanging plan has always been to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ." - Ephesians 1:5a (NLT)
- Question to consider: How can I start treating other believers like members of my own family?
- Answer: Be patient with them. Learn to love them even though they may annoy me in thing that they do, but remember that I annoy them too.
Day 14 - When God seems distant
- God is real, no matter how you feel.
- The deepest level of worship is praising God inspite of pain, thanking God during a trial, trusting Him when tempted, surrendering while suffering, and loving Hm when He seems distant.
- Tell God exactly how you feel.
- Focus on who God is - His unchanging nature.
- Trust God to keep his promises.
- Remember what God has already done for you.
- Point to Ponder: God is real, no matter how you feel.
- Verse to remember: "For God has said, "I will never leave you; I will never abandon you." - Hebrews 13:5
- Question to consider: How can I stay focused on God's presence, especially when he feels distant?
- Answer: Tell God how I feel - miserable!!
Be patient. Trust God and focus on God.
Day 13 - Worship That Pleases God
- God is pleased when our worship is accurate.
- God is pleased when our worship is authentic.
- God is pleased when our worship is thoughtful.
- God is pleased when our worship is practical.
- The heart of the matter is a matter of the heart.
- Point to Ponder: God wants all of me.
- Verse to Remember: "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soulm and with all your mind and with all your strength." - Mark 12:30 (NIV)
- Question to consider: Which is more pleasing to God right now? My public worship or my private worship? What will I do about this?
- Answer: Lord I think I have slipped so much in my private worship. I think of worship as just singing songs. What Matt Redman wrote was so true. Worship isn't about singing songs.
I'll bring You more than a song,
Because the song itself is not what You've required.
You search much deeper within
Than the way things appear
You're looking into my heart
Day 12 - Developing friendship with God
- I must choose to be honest with God.
- I must choose to obey God in faith.
- I must desire friendship with God more than anything else.
- I must choose to value what God values.
- Point to ponder: I am as close to God as I choose to be.
- Verse to remember: "Draw close to God, and God will draw close to you."
- Question to consider: What practical choices will I make today in order to grow closer to God?
- Answer: Spend time with God and be honest with Him about everything, including my resentments and struggles! He is supposed to be my best friend!
Day 11 - Becoming Best Friends with God
- God wants to be my best friend - He is passionate about His r/s with me.
-Becoming a best friend of God - through constant conversation - He wants to be involved in every activity (Quite amazing that he cares that much! Well then again, if not he wouldn't be bothered to die for someone like all of us)
- Also through continual meditation - think about His word through the day.
- Point to ponder: God wants to be my best friend.
- Verse to remember: "Friendship with God is reserved for those who reverence him." Psalm 25:14a (LB)
- Question to consider: What can I do to remind myself to think about God and talk to HJim more often throughout the day?
- Answer: I need to remember that every task in done for God's glory, including every thought that I have, every way that I spend my time!
Day 10 - The Heart of Worship
- Heart of worship is surrender.
- Offering yourself to God is what worship is all about.
- 3 barriers that block total surrender to God - fear, pride and confusion.
- Can I trust God? I'm scared sometimes too, cos it makes me do things that I cannot imagine.
- Sometimes I find it so hard to admit my limitations. I'm scared to fail I suppose.
- Yet there is the blessing of surrender. It is the best way to live with the goal to please Him.
- Point to ponder: The heart of worship is surrender.
-Verse to remember: "Surrender you whole being to him to be used for righteous purposes" - Romans 6:13b
- Question to consider: What areas of my life am I holding back from God?
- Answer: My love life and my work life - I just want to do it my way.
Day 9 - What Makes God Smile?
- The smile of God is the goal of my life, in everything I do.
- God smiles when we love him supremely, when we trust him completely, obey him wholeheartedly, when we praise and thank him continually and when we use our abilities.
- Need to think about the fact that I am not using my piano skills. That is bad. I need to trust in God not be concerned about stage fright, rather should be concerned about pleasing God.
- God never stopped enjoying me even when I was not perfect.
- Point to ponder: God smiles when I trust Him.
- Verse to remember: "The Lord is pleased with those who worship Him and trust His love." - Psalm 147:11
- Question to consider: Since God knows what is best, in what areas of my life do I need to trust Him most?
-Answer: life partner (terrible lack of one now!)
work (terrible pile to do!)
family (get driven up the wall occassionally)
Haven't been blogging
Sorry that I haven't been blogging..
I will blog about what I have learnt in PDL soon...But I have been faithfully doing it and journalling it down...Just haven't done the blogging yet....
