its me once more
hey hey..i know im suppose to be blogging about PLD... ihave been doing it dont worry...i skipped chapter21 but ill go back to it soon..where are we suppose to be at..ithink chapter22 is just so super powerful..
i decided to just blog about how things have been for me recently...yeah i have been thinking alot about the very nature of fellowship..i mean it has been a reoccuring theme everywhere i go..i dont know but i just feel so sad whenever i look at our church youth and young adults..what support is there in the first place??? i mean to be honest..if it werent for you keeping contact with me in the past year..i would have really felt that GBC is none other than a superficial and "acting nice" church. to be honest, when i think back about my farewell and how there were so many people that i cant all recall who were praying for me...it issad to note that i only talk to you after all..i mean barn and tiu as well but you know..i tell you my stuff regularly and stuff like that..which is why i am really just super grateful for you...really..i appreciate how youve been there all this while just really watching for me all this time when i was in australia...i dont know how things would be if yu hadnt...i mean im not saying that i require so much attention but then its sad to think that whenever one from our church leaves overseas for whatever reason...more often than not...they are fast forgotten and no one really supports them in the way they need it most-prayer. i tink about it and im just sad.
ive been talking to God about this quite a bit..i really find no support in our church..and theres just really a small and almost non existent support group that is very encouraged in a church ( like that written in the PDL) ..im not surprised that my next trip back would be really strange...i just dont feel great...i really wish to change church so badly...i mean i know that in some ways its called running away but in more ways than one, i somehow feel that if its so important to have a chrsitian fellow ship i dont know why i aint putting myself in one...haiyarh..yarh..in any case, the thought of leaving mayseem the best but at the same time its equally hard to leave your comfort zone and never return...you know what i mean? yeah...sigh.
im still praying. my mom says im silly because after all im going back...but somehow i feel..going back means that i would really need more than that...aiyarh..i also dont know if what im saying is really the best way to think...yeah.
well, im thankful that i have maryann and vicky as well..because they are the ones that i can really share my walk with and everything..yeah..so oh wells..without them i also dont know how man...i know for one that when i do return im going to be finding a cell group in which i can join and grow hopefully...
anyways, hope that you are doing fine yarh..tell me more about your shanghai trip when you can...take care!!
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