Feeling low today...
At this low point today...worse than yesterday...Just have no desire to do work today...No desire yesterday...and no desire today...In fact yesterday, I went wine, wine glass and cheese shopping during office hours...Cos remember I have that scholars' event tonight....Yup...That was what I did at work yesterday...In fact, I was so happy to be out, being silly, that it is actually a big waste of time and resources to be doing all of this during office hours...But I really couldn't care less....
In fact, I have so many silly frustrations, I can't even quite begin...I just realized how much I rely on my friends, and how much I need my friends' approval...I just feel that I'm in the out-group of things, like with my work colleagues in HR, with my work colleagues who are scholars...
Llike this business trip that I'm going...quite a few people are extending...for fun...but like I will be included in the extension only if they have not enough people..cos need to extend by group of 4s....to get cheap fares..And like I realized that with being in HR, i have alienated myself from my scholar friends...cos it is hard to be in HR and be a friend at the same time....Cos I know too much confidential info kinda of....And most of my scholar friends went to the same department, which ain't HR and so I'm in the out group of sorts...
So i feel like i'm in a no-man's land...like i'm not belonging to the people in HR...cos i'm not from the IR team who are the people i'm going on the business trip with...cos i'm from the HR devt team...and i don't fit in with scholars per se....cos i'm not really in snooty land....and the only real friends i have are christine and juliana...and i know that they will quit one of these days...so i will be left with no real frens..sorry that i sound sad and soppy today....it's really times like these that i wish for someone to tell me that everything will be okay....i've just been flg sian all week...
i've just been flg judgemental as well...argh...i did my duty in sending a invitation card to you know who to come for the prayer and praise night event...he sent me back a card and said that he has got something on, and he also informed me that he joined arpc....oh good golly...i felt really judgemental...cos the image of what he is portraying ain't gelling with the arpc image....He has the cheek to write on his blog that he is at day 34/40 of PDL, but I don't seem to see a change in him! How can you go through a book without getting hit and changing? okay okay...i shall stop here now....Just super frustrated today...
And i shall get back to my slides now...Did I tell you I have an aversion to slides now...I want to throw up when I am asked to do slides...sigh sigh...=(
Haven't done PDL yesterday and today, but I will blog Day 6 later...Sigh....
Back to slides for now...
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