Day 3 of PDL - What Drives Your Life? (Ade's response)
Hi Jiam,
Realized that we have been sloppy about blogging our thoughts down. Sharing them doesn’t mean that we should not keep up our blogging. So I shall share Day 3 of my thoughts.
So you should blog Day 2 and 3 soon.
Here are my thoughts and points to ponder which I copied from the book.
1) Many people are driven by guilt – Hey that sounds like my relationship with Colin. For the longest time, I was guilty for the one who broke up with him and for going with Charlie, I just didn’t know how to mend my friendship with him.
2) Many people are driven by resentment and anger – That sounds like my relationship with Ian. I still have no clue why he treated me the way he treated me, and I just feel upset with him for using me as a lifeline and as a source of comfort. I realized that I had clammed up too much and internalized too much of the anger and resentment and I just exploded. I think I was a bad testimony to him in the end, and I just think it would be odd and awkward to see him again. Keeping my fingers crossed that I wouldn’t need to see him much. Even though I’m not upset with him anymore, I just don’t know how to treat him so that I guard myself against being hurt again.
3) Many people are driven by fear – That was my relationship with Kenneth. As much as I enjoyed his company, I feared so many things when my parents objected. I feared losing him as a friend, hurting him, and I did not know what to expect from my parents’ reaction. I felt torn giving up my family versus what I believed was happiness with Kenneth.
4) Many people are driven by materialism.
5) Many people are driven by the need of approval – That’s me and me and ME! I just fear people’s rejection so much. In fact, I had a talk with Barn just before he left for the States. And he said that perhaps many people think that I’m a “role model” because I’m careful with my words and I do not really show my real thoughts that much, unless it is around people that I’m familiar with. I’m still open to sharing with others, but I just don’t say or do certain things for the fear of rejection.
Interestingly, as I read these 5 points, and I agreed with them, the first thing that I thought of was about relationships. I guess I must be quite pathetic to be thinking about relationships all the time. In fact, I’m getting tired of doing that! Gees, you would think that it would take me less than 3 years to come to this point eh? But as much as I want to get married, nothing seem to be happening. Now, I don’t want you to think that I’m complaining, cos in the past I would think I am, but I got to put in some effort too in reaching that marriage point eg go mix with other Christians, befriend more new people, grow in Christ’s image and prepare for marriage. But at this point in time, I got to just focus on a few things – which are work, finishing my grad diploma and missions trip. That is all for this year’s agenda. Decided that there is no space for a guy. So I will put in some effort next year. =P
Having said that, ANYWAY, this blog ain’t about guys and my whining. It is about the fact that as I thought about my relationships with people and how they are related to the wrong drivers in my life, I realized that I have been a ninny all this while. God has used many relationships to teach me and reveal to me all the wrong drivers in my life. I have been so blind in not realizing that I really needed to grow up and not rely so much about needing a man in my life. God should be of number 1 importance not some guy in my life. I really need to work alongside with God and let Him lead the way and show me His purpose for my life.
Okay, moving along, we also read about why we should know our purpose.
1) Knowing your purpose gives meaning to your life.
2) Knowing your purpose simplifies your life.
3) Knowing your purpose focuses your life.
4) Knowing your purpose motivates your life.
5) Knowing your purpose prepares you for eternity.
After reading this 5 statements, I really wanted to know my purpose that God had in store for me and I didn’t want to miss out on it. The one that struck me most was #2. I really needed to do less, be more focused, and not do so much and keep running around, squeezing out time for so many people. I need to be wiser in my choices and know who to hang out with and why I want to hang out with the person. Guess I need to push my low S up a little. Hee hee.
It is so true that living on purpose is the path to peace. You just feel that your whole life is aligned and you don’t need to keep running around in circles.
Question to Consider: I would think that my family and friends would say that friends, success, rushing around doing many things, being unsettled and hyper are some of my driving forces or who I am. But I really want to be a person who is able to be down to earth, and clear about what God wants for me, and I want to be focused on my family and God.
Okay, I have blogged. Now it is over to you Jiam.
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